Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. That one day of the year we dedicate to our love to the people who matter most. While you’re still in a lovey dovey mood, let’s take the time to talk about that one person you may have forgotten on Valentine’s Day…you. How do you love yourself?
As moms, we spend the bulk of our time taking care of everyone else. The kids need us. Other family members are calling to ask a favor. Your friends want to get together for that lunch you’ve been trying to plan for months. And, don’t forget about that business you’re trying to build. There’s always so much going on! So how can we take some time to take care of ourselves?
Put on Your Oxygen Mask
Anytime you take an airplane, the flight attendant always makes the announcement to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. Not the baby sitting in your lap or the nice old lady you’ve been chatting with for the entire trip. Yours. Why?
It’s hard to help someone else if you’re not in a good place. You don’t want to run out of air while you’re trying to put the mask on that little one.
Love yourself first. I’ll admit, this is one that I struggle with. I’m always putting the needs of my son and daughter ahead of my own. It’s no wonder that some days by the time I put my children to bed, I don’ thave anything left in the tank.
Schedule some “me time” each day. That’s right, get out your pen (or phone) and put it on your calendar. Set an alarm. Whatever you need to do to carve out that time. Even if it’s just for fifteen minutes. During your “me” time, do whatever it is you love to do (for me it’s word puzzles on my phone)…GUILT-FREE. Let the kids know so they buy into the process.
No checking emails
No kids…just you.
It’s amazing how a little recharge can lift your spirits.
I had one of the most empowering moments as a single mom just a few weeks ago.
I was dying to see the movie “Hidden Figures”. If you haven’t seen it, go. It was amazing. If I can find the time, I might go and see it again.
I didn’t have anyone to go with me and so I decided to go and see it by myself. I was a little self-conscious about going alone. I was the only person there on my own. There was a group of women and several couples there for the show and then little ol’ me.
I’m so glad that I went. I loved the movie and came away with an increased confidence about going out by myself. As my mom always said, “It didn’t hurt and have a temperature, did it?” This was the first time, but it certainly won’t be my last.
For me, it was an exercise in being comfortable in my own skin, regardless of what other people think (or perhaps what I thought of what people would think). That you don’t need another person to “buffer” you from the rest of the world or make you feel like you belong.
I recommend anyone to try it, just once, regardless of relationship status. 🙂 It doesn’t have to be a movie. Take yourself to dinner or a show that you’ve been wanting to see. There’s an entire world out there. Go enjoy it!
Be Kind to Yourself
We are often our biggest critics. Society tells us as moms that we have to be perfect and have it together. We should have all the answers and be able to be all things to all people. This oftentimes leaves us feeling that we’re somehow inadequate. Worried that we’re not quite living up to the invisible “standard” of being the perfect mom (partner, friend, sibling….you get the idea).
Ignore those little nuggets of self-doubt that have wiggled themselves into your brain. Better yet, pull them out and face them head on. Rather than concentrating on where you feel like you’re coming up short, spend some time each day being grateful for all the things good in your life. The things you’ve made happen (those little ones didn’t get here on their own). Think about all the people who rely on you because you CAN do great things. Rather than feeling overwhelmed, try to turn it on its head and feel grateful that so many people look to you for advice and help.
Don’t get me wrong, I struggle with this ALL. THE. TIME. I’ve even talked about it here. Take one day at a time and know that you’re doing your best and your best is absolutely good enough.
Valentine’s Day is all about love, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s all about couples. Take some time every day to celebrate the most important person in your life…you.